Sunday, May 09, 2010
Surrounded by the never-ending chore list, it's easy to get discouraged and frustrated. Our house is on the market right now, and it needs to be tidy all the time. I'm constantly picking up, Febreezing everything and Windexing (mmm, Windex) the bathrooms. I literally growl under my breath when I see the boys carelessly throw down their things instead of putting them away. Don't they know that I'm neurotically cleaning all the time? Their beds aren't made meticulously and there's always a stray sock under the bed. They hide toys on the "dark side" of the bed (the side you don't see from the door), and there's always toothpaste or mouthwash in the sink in their bathroom. Don't get me started on the ever-present smell of pee. Like I said, it's easy to get frustrated.
It's hard work to be a Mom. It's hard to be consistent. It's hard to be patient. I'm no expert. Sometimes, it's just easier to let them watch TV.
Yesterday, Mother's Day, I contemplated the art of Mothering. I must be so frustrating to my children. I feel like I'm constantly critical of them and nagging over dirty clothes on the floor. I certainly don't do all the things I want to with them and I'm lacking in the "funzone" a lot. I feel like a tyrant sometimes.
Yet, they like being with me. Silas collapsed with laughter yesterday when I did an imitation of Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz (nailed it, by the way). And Corin painted me a lovely Walter Anderson print their teacher gave to his class for them to complete for their Mothers. He was so proud of his work! Felix loves for me to read to him and he still (all 54 pounds of his four-year oldness) likes to snuggle on my lap. They all beg to "help" me in the kitchen with cooking, and they fought over who got to take care of me when I came home from the hospital after Lida B was born. They adore their baby sister and love to hold her and occupy her attention when I need to do something.
Even though I'll still be neurotic (let's not kid ourselves), I will try (and fail a lot) to keep this time in perspective. They will not all being under my roof forever. There will be lonely times where I wish they were around more often soon enough. I understand that it happens faster than you think. I'm glad they're my kids. And I'm glad I'm their Mom.
I'm off to Febreeze and Windex.